


Apathetic

by lcdsra



Series: LCDSRA's A-Z Soulmate Prompts [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26606278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcdsra/pseuds/lcdsra
Summary: /ˌapəˈTHedik/adjective1. showing or feeling no interest, enthusiasm, or concern.Or: Villains have their own villains too.
Relationships: Trudy/Veda
Series: LCDSRA's A-Z Soulmate Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935553
Kudos: 1





	Apathetic

**Author's Note:**

> AU: You are born with the first name of your soulmate on your wrist.
> 
> Character(s): Trudy, Veda  
> Relationship(s): Saga/Veda mention, Trudy/Veda  
> Warning(s): Consentual underage kissing, sexual content mention, violence mention, age difference

Trudy was not born with a person’s name on her wrist.

She was not born with a name, either. She was told her mother must have given birth, and the moment she could, had dropped her at the steps of the local orphanage.

The orphanage’s staff gave her the first name Gertrude, which meant something along the lines of strength, and the last name Luelle, after the producer of the blanket she was found in.

She learned to resent that name, as other kids cooed and called it out in a mockery. She had no soulmate. Even the cruelest kids in the orphanage had names plastered on their wrists.

Even if some of the marks had long gone grey, signaling death, or were not fully formed, meaning their soulmate wasn’t born yet, they had someone.

They weren’t destined to be alone, but she was.

Gertrude’s bare wrist mocked her. She supposed that she might have been happy to not be tied down to one person based on some unknown entity in a different life.

But this was not that life.

: : :

Gertrude became known as Trudy when a woman caught her stealing. She was 15 and living on the streets, having outgrown the orphanage’s age limit.

Now she was trapped in an alleyway with stolen goods curled protectively behind her, and a woman blocking her exit.

“What is your name, girl?” The woman demanded. Her tone was domineering and forceful, expecting, not asking for an answer.

Her mouth was dry as she choked out, “Gertrude,”

“Trude?” The woman repeated. Her dark eyes remained narrowed with distrust. Gertrude didn’t respond. “I’ll go with Trudy then.” The woman had said. “Were you planning on paying for that, Trudy?”

Trudy. The name felt right, somehow. “I don’t have the money.” Gertrude, no, _Trudy_ admitted. Because Gertrude would have lied without a second thought, said ‘yes,’ or simply bolted.

“Where are your parents?” The woman asked. Something about her shifted. She was less harsh, somehow.

“I don’t have any. I outgrew the orphanage system.” That sentence was the truth, and even when she was forced to attend school, she never spoke those words.

It also seemed to be the right thing to say. The woman’s expression shifted from distrust to anger, then softened to something like pity. “Do you know about an organization known as STARS?”

Trudy frowned. The name was familiar, probably one of the posters hanging up around her school. But she didn’t know the details. “I’ve heard of it.”

“I actually work in STARS. I work in the Elemental’s branch, and currently Air is recruiting.” The woman explained carefully.

The words didn’t make sense strung together. “What would I do?”

“Well, the commanders will figure out your strengths, with the help of your school records, assuming you have them. If not, that’s fine too.” She reassured her. “It will be your choice, and if after five years you don’t like it, STARS will help you get settled somewhere else.”

It sounded too good to be true, but the ache in her stomach was a painful reminder that she didn’t have many more options. “What do I do now?”

“First, you will return those chips and apologize to the cashier.” The woman replied. “And after, I can drive you to STARS for a proper meal.”

Trudy blinked. “I could do that.”

The woman smiled and stepped away from her, perhaps just realizing she was inches away from Trudy’s face as they spoke. “Perfect.”

“What’s your name?” Trudy blurted out before the woman could get too far.

She blinked in surprise, then smiled back at her. “My name is Veda. Veda Basu.”

: : :

Veda Basu had the name Saga on her wrist. Trudy spotted it when she was driving, and her shirt cuff slid up slightly.

The S curved elegantly over the rest of the name. “Have you met her?”

Veda started slightly. “Who?”

Trudy gestured to her wrist. “Saga.”

Her grip on the steering wheel tightened slightly. “Yes.” She replied, her voice clipped. “Have you met yours?”

“No.” Trudy said. “I want to though.” Gertrude said.

Veda accepted the half-truth as the whole truth, and Trudy wished she could have been braver.

: : :

Things in STARS were good. Well, it was not all good. Trudy was still the outlier, and people didn’t really like to talk to her because she was undeniably a child.

But she had a steady supply of food and a room she could call her own, and truthfully that was more than what her old place could promise.

Veda was constant. Trudy chose to join the same branch as her ‘sponsor’ as the organization called it. She explored different areas of the organization, from medical care to computer security, but settled for planning.

Her first job was rather simple, to research the place that field agents were to infiltrate. Pick out accurate maps, examine security flaws, the like. Augustus did most of the difficult work, and frequently, she was just there to watch.

But it was good.

No one mentioned soulmates to her. Society, from her experience, was so focused on soulmates that it barely had time to breathe. It was challenging to fit in when Fate had no soulmate for her.

It wasn’t perfect (a woman named Kirin never warmed up to her, despite the missions they interacted on), but it was enough.

: : :

Until it wasn’t. 

Something changed between her and Veda.

It was small at first. Trudy and Veda became friends of sorts. Veda would listen to Trudy’s whims of the world, and Trudy would advise as best she could on what troubled the woman.

Then it wasn’t so small. Trudy would sometimes jolt awake from dreams where Veda was kissing her in a way that wasn’t so friendly. Then they’d talk later, and all Trudy could feel was longing for her.

Trudy spent her sweet time keeping her feelings dreams until one day, she kissed her.

The woman froze at first but kissed back just as curiously.

Trudy did not have to ask later. Veda nodded her consent, so Trudy explored and mapped out her body with her tongue and fingers.

: : :

“Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t have a soul mark?” Veda asked one warm night.

Trudy was sitting up, staring out the window. The summer night was clear, the crickets chirping loudly in a mock symphony. “I didn’t think it was important.” She replied. “Would you have told me about Saga then?”

“No,” Veda admitted after a beat.

Trudy twisted around to face her. “Who is she?”

The older woman’s expression twisted into something thoughtful, “I met her in middle school. We were high school sweethearts, really.” She brushed her fingers over the curve of the S. “She disappeared when we were 19.”

“What was she like?” Trudy asked quietly.

Veda’s mouth quirked into a smile as she thought. “She was sweet. She wasn’t very popular, though. There were rumors that she punched a kid for taking something of hers.” She huffed out a laugh. “So she was a little lonely. She was that kid that you’d be terrified to mess with, even if she appeared to be really calm.”

Trudy bit her lip to keep from smiling back. Veda’s smile was beautiful, even if it wasn’t for her. “High school sweethearts?”

“We were a power couple, I like to think. She was subtly intimidating through passive aggressive smiles. I was the more physically violent one, but Saga had her fair share of fights.” Veda confided. “You remind me of her, sometimes.”

She raised a brow. “Subtly intimidating?”

“A little angry, but you’re smart with it, you know?” Veda stretched out on the bed. Trudy’s eyes lingered briefly, before flickering away. “You know how to get what you want.”

: : :

Trudy was off base when the explosion happened. She was 20 and was sent out to examine a location that a strike team would have infiltrated if that strike team hadn’t died that day.

She did not know the details. All she knew was that her phone pinged incessantly with alerts that she didn’t understand.

Veda did not speak with her for a week. After all, STARS was reeling from the attack, and Veda was a prominent figure who had work to do.

Upon further consideration, that was where their relationship took the biggest hit. There were rumors of an assassin named Moon Shard, who left fingerprints suspiciously similar to Saga’s, and even though Trudy knew that Veda didn’t love her, it was easy to forget that she loved someone else.

: : :

Not to say that Trudy didn’t try to fix things. She tried to talk to Veda, to help her with the workload, to reconnect.

But nothing worked. Veda kept drifting away, buried, and lured in the prospect to see her soulmate again. And more often than not, Trudy worked the day alone (she was trusted enough to do the entire mission outlines herself) and spent her nights alone, and all the while, she wondered what she did wrong.

A year after the bombing, a girl named Clair was brought in. Her eyes were hollow, and Trudy recognized the shallow breathing of a starving child.

She took pity on her. Trudy let the girl watch her work, talked to her after they both got off, tried in a way she hadn’t since Veda.

Clair was angry and hurt and flinched when Augustus banged on the door. Her school records were terrible, she was held back a grade and barely made it through 6th grade. Her research skills were just as bad, though it was never like she didn’t try.

Trudy tried her best, but it wasn’t her that saved Clair. It was Kirin.

Kirin was quite interested in the young girl and acted as a mentor figure, and she often saw them talking after Clair moved permanently to the field section.

Kirin’s interest in Clair wasn’t one-sided either. The girl stared at her like she was the sun and the stars and the moon. Her eyes threw daggers at fellow agents who made crude comments toward the commander, as if she would lay down her life without hesitation to protect Kirin’s pride.

Not like Kirin needed it, but it was bittersweet.

That was more painful than Trudy would like to admit. Her own mentor was pulling away while Clair’s was only drawing closer, and Trudy wanted that again.

She never told Clair that, though.

: : :

“We have to end this.”

Trudy blinked. It was way too late at night, and she was pretty sure Veda just broke up with her. “What?”

“I can’t keep doing this to you.” Veda said in one quick breath. “I’ve been pushing you away and frankly I don’t lo-“

Trudy slammed her bedroom door before Veda could finish. Her mind buzzed with a glorious sort of numbness that set in right before a metaphorical train hit her body.

She wanted to laugh. Or cry. Or both. But she felt nothing but hot, burning anger.

Trudy gave Veda everything, and that was how she responded? By telling her that she was useless to her, that they were better off apart?

No, Trudy was nothing without Veda. Even if she had officially joined STARS a few years ago, Veda was her sponsor.

Veda was the one who made this all happen, without her, Trudy was nothing.

But Veda didn’t even care. Her usually expressive eyes were flat and tired. Like it didn’t hurt her, like what they had was meaningless and that it was akin to trash. Expendable, worthless.

Trudy leaned against the door and cried.

**Author's Note:**

> Back when we were still changin' for the better  
> Wanting was enough  
> For me, it was enough  
> To live for the hope of it all  
> Canceled plans just in case you'd call  
> And say, "Meet me behind the mall"  
> So much for summer love and saying "us"  
> 'Cause you weren't mine to lose  
> You weren’t mine to lose, no
> 
> \- august by Taylor Swift
> 
> Also, if a random person comes up to you and offers you to join a random corporation DON'T agree to join. STARS is a fictional thing and an equivalent doesn't exist in the real world (to my knowledge).


End file.
